Making friends as an adult

The things that have worked for me and some earlier failings

Having just moved 230 miles north and spent the past two months trying to feel at home in a new town, making friends is something I’ve been thinking about a lot recently. I often hear people talk about finding it more difficult to meet new friends as an adult but I’ve had the opposite experience mostly.

I was terrible at making friends as a child. I was never bullied exactly (I know that’s a whole different experience) and I had the odd friend here and there, but I certainly wasn’t top of the party invites list and I could never quite seem to gel with anybody. Part of the problem was that for a long time I was too self-conscious to have any opinions in case I chose the wrong thing, whether that was music, TV shows, trainers, which boy I fancied, favourite McDonald’s milkshake flavour... everything really. I guess it’s hard to forge much of a connection with anybody when you won’t voice any preferences at all, even as kids.

But I think the main issue was how acutely embarrassed I was abo…